Pants, Love, and Empathy, and Metaphors

I think we should talk, you and I. I think we should talk about pants, and we should talk about love, and we should agree beforehand that I'm going to ramble off in to other topics and write lots of run-on sentences. Stephen King spoke of, in his book "On Writing", an author who uses a lot of sentence fragments in his writing, stating that the author used a lot of frags because he heard a lot of frags. It seems I have the opposite problem. The aforementioned author heard too many periods, I don't hear enough. I suppose that's why there are copy-editors. Copy-editors are, of course, people who hear the sound of themselves correcting the work of people who are, in some cases, insanely rich. In correcting my own work, I can attest to the fact that it doesn't sound like a wealthy person's work being corrected. I could, I guess, alter the settings in windows to play a "ka-ching" noise every time I pressed the letter 'e'. 'E' is the most commonly used letter in the English language, according to Arthur Conan Doyle's immortal character, Sherlock Holmes.

But I said we were going to talk about pants, and love, and it seems to this point I haven't talked about either. In this particular case, I have to tell you, pants is a metaphor. Love isn't, or at least I won't be using it as one, just pants. Why pants? Because they're so much the same and so varied and they can almost all carry things, even the ones with girl pockets. I've considered, over the years, what it might be like to be female, and I've decided that it sounds a lot more difficult in most ways than it is to be male, owing in part to girl pockets. Carrying things is important, of course. Having been a janitor and a smoker, though both those things aren't presently true, I understand the value of being able to carry a lot of things in my pants. That sounds dirty and I just considered editing it out, but I've now decided that's okay, because it might not sound dirty in your head. Anyway, pants here is a metaphor for your views. It's good to wear pants, because they offer protection from the elements and allow you to carry things in a practical matter. It's also good to have views, because you should have things you stand for. Standing for things gives us a sense of identity, and a sense of direction in our lives.

In case I lost you, here's a math problem. Metaphor Pants = views = identity + self-direction.

In case you were wondering why I decided to use pants as my metaphor for views, it's because your pants, like your views, probably don't fit me, just like mine probably don't fit you. Understanding this is the beginning of empathy. Don't do unto others as you would have them do unto you, do unto them what they would have done unto them. I very much enjoy video games, and I enjoy receiving them as gifts. Steph does not enjoy video games, and it is through my empathy that I know, consequently, that she would not appreciate them as gifts despite my own preference. Video games are also excellent value for money. A $60 video game can, frequently, take over 30 hours to complete, meaning it offers entertainment for just $2/hour. Compare that to a movie you purchased for $15 that's only 90 minutes long. I won't even mention a trip to the movie theater. Books are also excellent value for money, especially ones you get from the library, though I encourage you to buy my books if I ever publish any.

Now we need to talk about love, because sometimes people's views on some topics seem to not have it, or not as much of it as they should have. The main reason for this, I think, is because of a lack of empathy. When we express our views, we sometimes lack the empathy required to realize that while we think we're expressing our views on a thing, what we're actually doing is expressing them about people. It might sound like you're saying, "Pokemon is stupid," but what the people who enjoy Pokemon hear is "People who like Pokemon are stupid". People don't make decisions about what they like, so it's hardly fair to criticize them for liking it. When I started watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the television series, I didn't say to myself, "I'm going to really like this, regardless of what it actually is". I grew to enjoy it, because it spoke to me, like good art does to people. Nor did I decide to fall in love with Stephanie. This last bit has been a metaphor too.

So go out into this world with your pants. Remember, they won't fit most other people. That's okay. I was taught, and likely you were too, that we're all the same. That was a lie, a well intentioned lie, but a lie just the same. We're all different, and that's okay. I learned early on that anything my parents made a big deal out of telling me was just the same as another thing, whether that was a group of people being just like me, or some new bit of food being just like one I already liked, or anything else, that meant it was different. I never saw the need for the obfuscation, and I don't see it now either. Wear your pants, people, and wear them with empathy, empathy borne of love for one another. Because every person you've ever met could be you. A slightly different set of DNA, some different parents, and that's you. Empathy.

Of House Elves and Social Justice

J.K. Rowling had, and I expect still has, a lot to say on any number of topics told through the Harry Potter series. Her messages on love, the nature of good and evil, on sacrifice and duty, are difficult to miss. What wasn't so obvious, at least to me, was what she was saying with House Elves. Unlike so many of the other topics, there was no grand gesture, no plain lesson, but she devoted a goodly portion of the series to this subplot, so there must be something to it. After years of occasional mulling, I think I understand it, at least to a degree. What she was after, I think, was to convey some fairly harsh truths.

1. How a group feels about a thing doesn't change what a thing is. House Elves live in forced servitude - slavery. That they cheerfully endure this doesn't make it something else. Pay attention to how your feelings changed about the situation as you found that, with few exceptions, the House Elves were really okay with it. It's just the way they are, of course, so this slavery must be okay. It's the good kind. Only it's not, because it's slavery.

2. Otherwise good people can hold profoundly ignorant opinions. This is told through any number of characters, but exemplified best through the character of Hagrid. He insists that freeing the House Elves would be doing them an unkindness, and he consequently refuses to contribute to the Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare. That Hagrid is the least educated individual, and the closest thing to a bumpkin the stories contain, is likely not coincidental. That we discover in the same book, "The Goblet of Fire", that he has to endure plenty of prejudice himself speaks to how blind and lacking in empathy we can all be when confronted with the plight of another race.

3. In a broader extension of point 2, we have to talk about privilege. In the world of Harry Potter, wizards are the privileged class, and how that affects them can be plainly seen when it comes to House Elves. Hermione is determined at one point to gain access to the kitchens. Fred and George are agitated at the thought, proclaiming that her talk of freedom might put them off their cooking. In fact, it's only Mr. Weasely, Remus Lupin, and Dumbledore who seem to have any sympathy for Hermione's cause. Why? Privilege. To quote another blogger (the blog is here): "These social justice bloggers need to calm the fuck down," said the young white male blogger, bewildered and angered that anyone could take issue with a world that suits him so perfectly.

4. Boycotting is ineffective as a means of protest. There's a period of time when Hermione refuses to eat anything prepared by the House Elves, but quickly realized that wasn't going to matter. In the same way that the Walton family doesn't care that I refuse to shop at Walmart, the House Elves had hundreds of other mouths to feed. Mouths that didn't care or weren't even aware of their slavery.

5. Real change takes time. Apparently Rowling has alluded to Hermione, years after leaving school, as a member of the Ministry of Magic and that she has improved things a lot for House Elves. Change takes time, perseverance, and a powerful will.

Steph and I are doing well. We're staying Vermont over Christmas. I hope this find all of you well, and that you have a happy holiday season.