Clarice Lispector once said, “Who has not asked himself at some time or other: am I a monster or is this what it means to be a person?" and sometimes I think about this a lot. I remember laying on the couch and opening up Twitter on my iPad and seeing that something was going on in Newtown, Connecticut, and the tears that came when I learned what that was. I remember the staggering disbelief when the explosions went off at the Boston Marathon, and then I noted this last week that the shooting at LAX only elicited a sigh and a thought of gratefulness that only one person had been killed. Am I monster? Perhaps I have finally become, as all the so-called experts during the rise of violent video games in the 90's put it, desensitized? I won't rule those two out, objectivity is in short supply when analyzing oneself, but I don't think so. I think the human ability to cope is elastic, and that elastic stretches a great deal under very little weight at first, and then less and less, until it snaps, and maybe this is my way, and probably the way of many others, of avoiding that break. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this.
It was announced today that former Dallas Cowboys running back Tony Dorsett has CTE [link]. Given that he retired when I was only 8-years old, I never got a chance to watch him play, but it made me wonder how long it will be before the players I grew up watching will start being diagnosed. Individuals I revered and so badly wanted to be when I played football in middle and high school. It made me think about getting older, and the price of getting older, which seems to be watching the titans of our youth topple like so many dominoes.
Now, to move away from my super-depressing thoughts and on to some family updates. Steph is doing very well and seems to have largely adjusted to her new school district, though I suggest not asking her about report cards. Our friends Hilary and Chris, back in Colorado, have a new baby girl (rumor is she still has that "new baby smell"). Currently, my book is in the hands of its first readers. I'll be collecting their feedback and doing a second revision and then I'll need to send it out to a new crop of readers and a few of those who already read it once for some comparative analysis. I also have a story entered in Gemini Magazine's Flash Fiction contest [link] and I'm hoping to hear something on that any day now.
I hope all of you are doing well. [Insert obligatory remark about updating this blog more often here]. Take care and enjoy yourselves.
